dinner alone and trusting joy

I live for the days when everything lines up: when the world feels peaceful, when energy flows and time goes smoothly, when deep breaths come easily, when you realize you've had the same content smile on your face for hours.

Sometimes they are consciously created.


Other times, they're just happening before you know it.


That's how last Thursday went for me. I went up to Northampton to see my acupuncturist, on a rare occasion when I couldn't get booked at her more local office. I take the inconvenience of having to travel 45 minutes on a weeknight with a secret bit of joy -- Northampton is such a joyful mini city, I like an excuse to get there.

And so I went up, with no real plans, and had my bit of acupuncture. (Haven't tried it? I'm now a firm believer and recommend it to everyone I know.) My car was parked in a free lot in a prime location, and so I wandered. I walked slowly and breathed in the air. And found myself at the Haymarket, an eccentric, tiny, vegetarian cafe and juice bar nestled in between stores. I wandered downstairs and happened upon a jazz band warming up -- I was just in time. I ordered food, and meant to take it to go, but forgot to ask, so settled for sitting with my meal, alone, eating, (Instagramming...), and listening to the music. I ate a stew of tofu sausage, okra, bell peppers, zucchini, and tomatoes atop brown rice and served with grilled cornbread.

It was heaven.

On my way out, I got my usual green jasmine tea I almost always get for the ride home from Northampton.

These are the kinds of days I always yearn for, the ones I try so hard to create, when really --


they don't need any trying. They just need trusting.