{this moment}

 

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Linking up with SouleMama this Friday.

I always pass this spot on my drive to work in the mornings, always wanting to capture it.

Yesterday I had my camera in hand, seizing the quick second at a stop sign.

Mornings really are my favorite time of day.

honoring our bodies with support

 

For a long time now, I've felt uncomfortable in my body. Not in a disliking-of-my-size-and-shape kind of way (no, that's something I'm working on entirely differently), but in a way of just not feeling good.

Not feeling healthy.
Not feeling comfortable.
Not feeling 100%.

And I've fought it. I've seen multiple doctors. I've tried changing my diet. Nothing was really working. And so I was resigning to these feelings of bad and unhealthy and uncomfortable and less than 100%.

(But in a compassionate-towards-myself kind of way, I was trying. I wanted to feel better. I just didn't have the right thoughts around it to make things transform. I understand this now.)


There are a few things I've learned about my body that I know make me feel good, however. Like getting enough water. And sticking to whole foods. And moving every day. And taking my vitamins and supplements. Important things that are all well and good, but nothing that was life-changing.

Now, though, something has shifted. In fact, since the new year, I've felt all areas of my life shifting. But one of the biggest ones? My body. I've learned that my body needs support, just like the rest of me does. It's taken me awhile to figure out what kind of support I need, but once I got really quiet and listened to what my body was telling me, it was easy.

I'm seeing a naturopath, now. A good one. Who I think can help me. I'm getting blood tests done and trying out a new food plan and then I'll see him again to reassess. Medicine that I get excited about is good medicine, I believe.

He's recommended that I try out a strict gluten free and dairy free diet, which I've always suspected I need. It's going to be a little tough, but I've been doing my research and hearing from friends who've done it and finding new recipes to incorporate into my diet. I feel like right now, this is the best step for my body. Cutting out all gluten and dairy just feels soothing and nourishing to my system. I'm hoping it will help with digestion and create some peace in here.

I'm also trying acupuncture. I've wanted to do this for the longest time but it just never really happened (a part of the process I'm learning to honor). When I heard that acupuncture can be really helpful for both anxiety and endometriosis and learned more about it, that was my cue. I did my research and found a practitioner specializing in women's health and even realized my health insurance would cover some of it. All the inspiration fell into place, and then I made it happen.

It isn't an inexpensive path, but once I believed the truth that money is energy and tapped into my feelings towards it more, I no longer felt trapped and paralyzed by the cost of these things. I cut back on spending in other places, and it feels good to willingly hand over money for things I believe in. I never thought I'd say that -- I spend a lot of money per month (for me, anyway!) on support systems, and I actually kind of like parting with it. Imagine that :)



I don't think there's one answer. I think for me I need this mix of support systems, using not only the medicine itself but also the practice of branching out and trying new things and making decisions for myself that feel good to me.

I don't know that these are the answers to all my troubles. Maybe they'll completely cure me, maybe they'll make me feel 20% better, maybe they'll do nothing at all. Maybe I'll end up adding surgery (for the endometriosis) or some other intrusive option. But I'm glad that I'm trying these new things and learning to honor my body with the support systems I've put into place.

I'm finding the support I need. And I like it.


(PS: Any GF eaters out there? I'd love to hear your thoughts/tips!)

dinner party.

Wow -- a week with the house to myself flew by with more busy-ness and chaos than I ever thought. Everyone's back home now, things are back to normal, and I'm wishing for more time alone. Yet it was a good week spent doing lots of space clearing, organizing myself, playing with puppies, and hosting dinner parties. I feel rejuvenated to start this next week, now.

Friday night a few good friends came over for my first real dinner party. I lit candles and arranged flowers in the backyard and served spinach pesto lasagna, roasted vegetables, and lemon asparagus. We drank lots of wine and talked for hours and I couldn't help but stop and look around me and think, This is the life I have created for myself. 

 It wasn't the perfect dinner party and there are so many things about where I am in life that I could dwell on sadly, but instead I'll just settle with the thought: This is the life I have created for myself.

It was a good night.

finally!

Okay! Finally, after so many emails and phone calls and customer service messages, I've finally gotten my old domain redirected to the new name, featherspirit.com.

So welcome, featherspirit.com!

If you've had trouble following or reading in a reader, I apologize. I'm new to all this, and accidentally assigned the new domain name without finalizing the redirection of the old name. Please do catch up on the most recent posts, including the final guest post and a post from last weekend.

Again, I'm so glad we're all here. Thank you for joining me at Feather Spirit :)

sacred sunday.

Important! I've officially switched over to featherspirit.com, so you'll probably need to update your readers not even be able to see this showing up on your readers -- darn! Hopefully no one gets too lost. It may take a little while for ruth-writes.com to redirect, but hopefully it all shakes out. I'm so lost when it comes to all this!

Also, I'm writing over on Roots of She today for Jenn's Oh, These Wild Women series. Roots of She has quickly become one of my very favorite sites -- I always look forward to the posts. Thanks for having me, Jenn!

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My parents and sister left yesterday morning for a week-long vacation. I woke up early, saw them off, and then -- celebrated.

A week alone. With the house to myself.
Quiet.
Peaceful.
Happy.
Positive.
Spacious.
Free.
A week to practice my own rituals and habits in my own energy. A practice week, if you will, for when I finally have a space of my own.

Of course, I still have the dogs to look after. And the cat. And the bird. And the seedlings. And the feral cats in the backyard who've grown to expect twice-daily feedings. Oh my.

But today I started with a slow morning. A not-so-welcome welcoming of monthly back pain and discomfort, eased with tea and crackers and fresh daffodils and cuddling with the puppy.




We followed that with a trip to a new dog park, a few errands in town, a quiet afternoon spent writing and watching Office reruns and munching on salad.

 

I'm so ready for this week to begin! I've stocked myself up with decaf coffee, fresh lemons, juicing ingredients, almond milk, and enough dog food to last for awhile.

I'm open to possibilities :)

guest post : uma from secret notebooks, wild pages

Important! I've officially switched over to featherspirit.com, so you'll probably need to update your readers :) It may take a little while for ruth-writes.com to redirect, but hopefully it all shakes out. I'm so lost when it comes to all this!

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I'm so glad you're all enjoying these guest posts as much as I am. It feels like a giant supportive hug! A tribe of friends ready with cheering and loving to welcome in this new space. I'm so grateful :) This post is the last of the line-up.

Today Uma joins us, sharing her story of her journey to health -- a story to which I can very much relate. I loved reading this. (Her blog was one of the very first I started to read, years ago.)

Welcome, Uma!

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"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know." — Pema Chodron


I've spent the past couple of years studying natural healing and thanks to an incurable skin disease called rosacea, the past couple of months practicing it on myself. Years ago, when flushed cheeks and a few bumpy spots on my face led to the diagnosis, my dermatologist handed me a tube of ointment and presented a solution that sounded simple enough. "Just use this antibiotic cream when you have a flare up — oh, and you may have to use it for the rest of your life."


The rest of my life? Well ok, I thought. How difficult could that be? Back then, the concept that my body might actually be trying to tell me something through this language of dis-ease was still a foreign concept, and I made no attempt to interpret its increasingly urgent messages. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who only acknowledges the aspects of you they feel comfortable with, ignoring the parts that challenge them, making you feel incomplete, inauthentic, unheard and unseen in their presence? I have. It's frustrating, isn't it? And yet this is exactly what I was doing to myself. Instead of acknowledging, interpreting and respecting everything my body was trying to tell me I put my faith in something outside of myself — in a tube of chemicals. I chose the quick fix, the "simple" solution. I trusted that the cream would silence, indefinitely, the voice of red spots and bumps so I didn't have to do the much more difficult and time-consuming work of having an authentic relationship with myself, of acknowledging my own needs physically and emotionally. And for the most part, it worked. Until a few months ago.


With my skin much worse and the tube of ointment no longer working I suddenly found myself turning to the herbs, diet and practices of natural healing that I thought I'd been studying in order to help others, recognizing that I am the one who needs help. And with nowhere to run from this difficult truth I began what promises to be a long process of looking at my whole self — not just the parts that are easy to acknowledge and get along with, but the parts that are more prickly and demanding and challenging. Parts that I would have gladly gone on ignoring if rosacea hadn't brought them up out of the darkness.


Natural medicine believes that rosacea, like many other diseases, has its roots in the digestive system, but eliminating dietary triggers like gluten, chocolate, alcohol, and caffeine is only half the battle, a skirmish I can handle myself in the privacy of my own kitchen. The other aspect of digestion — the proper digesting of emotions by actually expressing them — is going to take some work. Work I don't even know how to begin yet. But this endeavor — the work of building right relationship to both inner and outer realities — is the essence of true holistic healing, a nurturing of the Whole Self that isn't a one-size-fits-all solution to disease. Its directions for use are different for each one of us and are only interpretable when we stop trying to see things the way we want them to be and instead recognize them for what they really are. I wish I could write that the solution is as easy as the dermatologist made it sound, years ago. But one of the lessons I must have to learn, among so many others, is that true healing doesn't come from a tube.

guest post : amy from rainbows and daydreams

More guest posts! I'm loving this so much.

Today's post comes from Amy, a cosmic soul-sister I connected with through the Goddess Circle. Continents apart, I'm so glad we've "met" in such a serendipitous way-- it's been so much fun getting to know each other online :)

Welcome, Amy!

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When I was about fifteen, I decided that I wanted to become a naturopath. Where this decision came from I don't know. It was not as if my family used natural or alternative health products. I had a friend in high school with a mother who was a herbalist and practitioner of other natural therapies and through her I became fascinated by these age old holistic health practices. I organised to do my work experience at her natural health business, twice. I took on an afternoon job to see more of what was happening there. I got to have hands on experience with things like making tinctures, creams, iridology, colour therapy, drawing therapy, and other alternative health practices. I did workshops, read books, anything I could find on the topic was interesting to me.

In Australia, where I live, in year ten of high school we decide what we will study for our final years with the intent of gaining entry to our chosen field at university. We all had private meetings with our careers counsellor who would instruct us on what subjects we should chose and how we should go about attaining our goals. When I mentioned my desired path, my careers counsellor swiftly set about convincing me that it was not a path I should follow. She told me that I would have to study more science than I  would like, that my choice to abandon maths would not serve me well, and that I was obviously stronger in the fields of English and drama. I faltered in my conviction, being young and impressionable, and took on the counsel. Surely it would be best to do something I had proven myself to be good at, and when I applied myself occasionally excelled at? Surely?

So I went forth, planning on studying something like media, journalism or drama when I went to university. I was accepted to university for all three subjects and decided to focus on communications, which was a mixture of media and journalism and subjects like film. I enjoyed my time at university, but I felt lost. Family troubles and my own struggles with depression left me confused and aimless. My plan to become a political journalist faltered when I decided politics was too negative and cut­throat for me. I started working in a health food shop, and truly loved the connection with natural health products once again. It seemed my old interests were back to haunt me. I often thought back to my time at the natural health clinic that I worked in as a teenager. It may have been the gloss of nostalgia, but I saw it as a truly happy time and place in my life. I thought about how much I would love to pursue that path still. But I thought I had missed my boat, let the chance go by. I still felt lost and unfulfilled.

One day, I found out that my local TAFE, which is a vocational education provider, offered massage therapy as an option. A spark was lit up inside my heart, or maybe it was my soul. Massage fit perfectly into my idea of natural therapy. It was holistic, hands on, and to me seemed to be based on the idea of prevention over cure. With a diploma in remedial massage under my belt I could then apply to universities to go on and study naturopathy. It seemed like there was a chance that I could actually commit to my original plan. But once again I was filled with self doubt. Was I really cut out for a subject that revolved around subjects like anatomy and physiology? Wasn't it too late to try? I was sceptical about even mentioning my dream to my partner. We had recently bought a house, and now had a mortgage. Could we afford for me to study when I wasn't even sure about whether I could do so successfully? I was filled with turmoil and unhappy with my current path; but I had always been a person who was reserved and worried about taking risks. And I'll have to admit, this seemed like the biggest risk ever. I was so certain that this was what I wanted to do; but if I was wrong I would end up more lost and aimless than ever.

I started by taking dolly steps. I told my partner. I approached a government welfare department to see if I would qualify for financial study assistance. I think when my partner saw how crestfallen I was when the answer was no it convinced him of how much I wanted it. I had his blessing, and even though it would place a financial strain on us, we agreed that I should give it a go. I enrolled and started study. And I loved it! The anatomy and physiology study was fascinating and I actually found that I excelled at it. When I started massaging I found that my hands, which I had always thought of as too small and weak, could actually gain strength and were much more useful than I ever believed. I really enjoyed learning about the different modalities of massage and how it could help people maintain the health throughout their life.

This chapter of my life has provided me with a few invaluable lessons. Firstly I learnt to trust my instincts. The only person who can tell you want you should do is you. Of course, I don't blame my teen aged­self for those doubts; I was too young to know such a thing and to trust myself so completely against all the advice I was being given. But that first desire, that first dream, it never died. It just waited. I learnt that it is never too late to try. And try I did; I even got my first ever scholarship during my first year of study. I tried and I succeeded and even excelled. They say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but that's rubbish. If you want something enough, nothing in the world can hold you back. Even after coming down with glandular fever (mononucleosis) in my first year of study, and suffering with fatigue and a long line of illness afterwards I am getting it done. I ended up adding a semester to my diploma to deal with the time off I had to have because of illness last year, which was a lesson in itself. Be gentle with yourself. Take time when needed. Ask for help when you need it. Boy, that last one has been hard for me to get through my head! I was so used to struggling along silently, which no one needs to do. There is always someone out there willing to listen and willing to help.

As I now finish up my studies and start thinking about my next move, I am truly grateful for where I am now on my path. I have a plan, one that will serve me. In the past I felt so frustrated and unfulfilled. Now I feel like I have options, choices. I can trust in myself to do the right thing by myself. My focus is on growth, happiness, contentment. I finally feel like I am doing what I am here on this Earth to do. And that is the best feeling of all.


About Amy:
I currently live on top of a mountain in the New England region of NSW, Australia. I am studying for my diploma of remedial massage and am setting up a home business in the field. I live with my partner, a cat, two dogs, and three chickens. I am so happy to be here for the opening of Ruth's beautiful new space, and feel blessed to have friends like Ruth all over the world. To be connected to a tribe such as this is an amazing thing to behold.

guest post : carmella from a tree called life

In another installment of this Feather Spirit welcome party/brigade that I feel so grateful for, today's guest post comes from my dear friend Carmella. We met a couple of years ago through blogging, and I'm always so happy when I think back on how well we've gotten to know each other online. I'm so thankful for her :)

Welcome, Carmella!

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photo via rebeca cygnus

I'm so excited and grateful to be included in the beginnings Feather Spirit!   I'm constantly amazed at how blogs can lead to the discovery of such inspiring people and new friends.  When Ruth asked me if I'd like to contribute a post to her blog relaunch I thought immediately, YES!  On a personal level, the timing for a relaunch couldn't have been more perfect.  

These past few months, I've been focusing much energy into letting go of all the things, physical and mental, that no longer serve me. Taking time to grow, deliberately, into my true self and creating around me things that speak closely to who I want to be.  Already, 2012 has been a whirlwind of a year.  It was my greatest intention in 2011 to make big changes and learn to let go.  Let Go- this has become my mantra.  This lesson began from a dream that I had of one my greatest teachers, Ram Dass.  In this dream I asked him desperately, "What do I do? I have no idea what I'm doing, just please tell me what to do!"  He looked at me with a comical smile and waved his hand in front of my face and said simply, "Just let it go."  The profundity of his words rattle me more in my life now then they did at the time I had the dream.  

Sometime this past September I made the decision that I needed a change- my soul needed a change.  I had been living in Los Angeles for about six and a half years, I felt confused, stuck, paralyzed, I felt uninspired and always three steps behind the life I saw myself living.  I finally threw my hands up and, without really thinking about it, made the decision to leave L.A.  I let go of my material possessions and the comfort of my own place.  My lease was up, I quit my job, I moved in with my mother and planned my trip to India.  I had always wanted to go to India so why not now?  I quickly attached myself, full force, to this plan.  With everything thing that I let go of in L.A., I bound myself tenfold to my ventures through India.  I wasn't just visiting, I was essentially moving.  After all, I didn't have things or a job to come back to, I'd go and let the wind carry me where it would.  Oh, yes, I was planning to be a free spirited gyspy, 2012 would be great!  

and so I moved to Austin.

India and all the efforts I put in to get there, became a monumental struggle.  I kept paddling upstream, upstream.  Plans would fall apart and nothing seemed to work out.  But surely, I was supposed to go there, my plan was to be there.  I kept pushing.  One night I had a long phone call with a dear friend who had just moved to Austin, "You should come visit and take a breath from India and maybe you'll be refreshed once you've taken your mind off it."  This sounded like a good idea.  I needed to breathe.  

Slowly in the next few days I realized something- that I had had this knowing deep somewhere in my gut, that I'd be moving to Austin.  I had tinkered with the idea a bit before, but blew off Texas when I thought of India!  However, something was different now.  Her invitation was exactly what I needed and I knew that I was going to find a place to live.  It took me no effort at all to find a home, I fell in love with the first and only place I saw and signed a lease the same day.  It seemed as soon as I had let go of the idea that I had to go to India, as soon as I let go of my planning the year- everything fell into place, everything in Austin was effortless.  I was to move in on my birthday.

It seems that as soon as we let go of preconceived ideas of what our futures should look like, life is less of a struggle.  When you learn to root yourself in the now, in the process of the creation of your life, things always flow easily.  

Letting go of the outcome, however, is not always an easy task.  

I've been in Austin almost three months now and the ups and downs have been plentiful.  Almost as soon as grace got me here I went into 'must plan out my year in austin' mode.  I started setting up idealistic situations and creating all sorts of stress and worry over these stories that needed to play out for my happiness.  I started planning out what needed to be manifested.  In short, I had major anxiety attacks and woke up in the night with intense episodes of vertigo.   What happened?? 

The thing is... I'm learning.

I'm learning to let go.  

There are instances, like when I found my home here, that I am completely free.  I let go of my struggle against life, I let go of plans and things are effortless.  Amazing and unexplainable things happen, actually.  Then, there are days when I wake up a complete mess not knowing what to do or how things will come together and I completely lose my mind!  

I'm learning.

So in one of my moments of panic, I wrote two lists to bring me back to center;

A list of all the things that I wanted to let go of and a list of things that I needed to hang on to.

I keep these nearby and turn to them a lot when I feel those fickle hands of anxiety coming to grab me.

To-Let Go

-tomorrow

-attachments to outcomes

-people pleasing

-self-criticism

-anxiety

-plans

-control.

To-Hang On

-now

-self-compassion

-self-kindess

-breath

-excitement

-self-forgiveness

-spontaneity 

-love.

So I say to you, just let it go.

Let go of the oars and trust the stream to carry you.  It will always take you where you need to be.

guest post : rachel from the kitchen holiday

Thanks for all the kind words I've been getting on this new space of mine here. You women light me up :)  


Today's guest post comes from my older sister, Rachel. After reading my blog for years, she just recently started her own blog, a food blog. It's been so fun to help her get it going and try to help with blog questions where I can. 


Welcome, Rachel, and thanks for supporting Feather Spirit :) 

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Hi, I'm Rachel from The Kitchen Holiday.  My little sister, Ruth is not only one of my closest friends, oldest roommate, and polar opposite, but she's also my blog mentor, guest photographer, and biggest cheerleader, so I couldn't have been more flattered when she asked me to guest post on Feather Spirit.  

Over at The Kitchen Holiday, I focus on how fun and relaxing your time in the kitchen can be.   After a long day at work or a hectic weekend, nothing is more soothing to me than blasting music, pouring a glass of wine, and cooking some wholesome food.  I haven't been blogging long, but I've accumulated some great recipes like turkey soup, red velvet whoopie pies, green smoothies, and avocado egg toast, so you should definitely check it out! 

While I'm very passionate about my food, I've always had a difficult relationship with it.  Over the years I've developed some not-so-healthy eating habits and have definitely been guilty of eating just because I'm bored or upset.  Recent events, however, have started to change the way I see food.  Food is fuel!

Things started to change in January, when I completed my first mind-body detox.  It eliminated all caffeine, alcohol, gluten, dairy, processed food, and added sugar from my diet to help eliminate toxins.  And it made me feel amazing.  Don't get me wrong, it was extremely difficult and I almost broke the guidelines on a daily basis.  Overall, however, I noticed a huge improvement in my energy levels and much better digestion.  No more feeling tired at 3:00 in the afternoon and bloated after meals - score! Best of all, I developed a better understanding of the effect that certain foods have on my body, like how sluggish sugary or fat-filled foods made me feel.  Once I came to this realization, healthy food choices were a no-brainer.  It became less about avoiding foods that would cause me to gain weight and more about foods that provided my body with what it needed, what it craved.  Turns out, the cravings I really should have been listening to were actually good for me!

Most recently, I trained for (and finished!) my first road race - the Cherry Blossom 10-mile.  During my training, I had to be sure to provide my body with the nutrients it needed to excel.  I balanced protein and carbs, and made sure to eat at the appropriate times to give me the energy I needed to complete a long run.  Food was the fuel that powered me through the first time I set a new personal record - 5 1/2 miles, then 8 miles and finally the entire 10 miles on the morning of the race.  Eating served a purpose other than satisfying a craving, an entirely new concept to me.   And as an added bonus, running burns hundreds of calories!

Overall, approaching food as a means to achieve an end, rather than an end in itself, has allowed me to develop a much healthier relationship with food and is a vital aspect of my self care.  

One of my favorite recipes that I enjoyed during my training was a black-bean quinoa dish, which will forever be referred to as "Kick Ass Quinoa."  It's a healthy meal that's full of flavor and will give you the energy to succeed at any goal you set your mind to.

To start, gather your ingredients.  You'll need quinoa, black beans, tomatoes, limes, cilantro, scallions, butter, oil, sugar, salt, and pepper.

First, cook the quinoa.   Mix 2 cups water and 1 cup quinoa in a medium saucepan.  Bring the water to a boil, then lower to a simmer and cook for 20 minutes, or until all the water has been absorbed.  Fluff the quinoa with a fork and set it aside.

While the quinoa is cooking, prepare the remaining ingredients - drain and rinse the beans, dice the tomatoes, and chop the scallions and cilantro.

Next, make the dressing.  First, zest 2 limes by grating only the green portion of the rind - not any of the white pith!

Slice the limes in half and squeeze out the juice, removing any seeds.


In a large bowl, mix the lime zest, lime juice, butter, oil, sugar, salt and pepper and whisk them together until they are well combined.

Mix in the quinoa, then the remaining ingredients - the beans, tomatoes, scallions, and cilantro.

Toss well...

...and enjoy!

Kick Ass Quinoa
Adapted from Gourmet, 2007

Ingredients

2 teaspoons grated lime zest

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice 

2 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 teaspoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1 cup quinoa

1 (14- to 15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained

2 medium tomatoes, diced

3 scallions, chopped

1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped

Cook the quinoa.  In a medium sized saucepan, combine 2 cups water with 1 cup quinoa.  Bring the water to a boil and simmer for 20 minutes.  Fluff the quinoa with a fork and set aside.  

Make the dressing.  In a large bowl, combine the lime zest, lime juice, butter, oil, sugar, salt, and pepper.  Whisk to combine.  

Add the cooked quinoa to the dressing along with the black beans, tomatoes, scallions, and cilantro.  Toss to coat.   Serve immediately or chilled as leftovers.  

easter weekend

A little peek into my long weekend.

Rachel came to visit and brought with her her new camera, which I promptly fell in love with. We video-ed all weekend, and I used her Macbook to put it together with iMovie.

She was more excited to see the puppy, I was more excited to see her camera.

Oh well :)


(For those of you who didn't hear, Ruth Writes has been re-launched! If you're in a reader, click over to see the new Feather Spirit xx)

welcome to feather spirit!

Hurray! After a busy day of more-work-than-I-thought and struggling with coding and arranging and then a huge internet failure, Feather Spirit is here! It's still a work in progress, but I hope you enjoy how it's progressed so far.

My intention for this space is for it to feel more like home to me, a virtual sanctuary I can settle into, and that you can feel at peace here, too. As I've been dreaming this up and planning it and creating it, this is how I've imagined and visualized it:

 photo via apartment therapy

Full of pillows and soft blankets and morning sunlight and plants and lavender and snuggly cats :)

I'm sure my posts will mostly be the same, but I love that it feels like I have more of a focus, now. I'm excited to delve more deeply into more creativity, soul, nature, and self-care. As a welcoming party for Feather Spirit, I've asked a few gracious bloggers to join me here this week, so look for their guest posts coming up soon.

Thank you so much for joining me here. If you'd like to leave a comment introducing yourself or sharing your thoughts or just saying hello, that would be totally welcome :) I'm looking forward to sharing this space with you.

Be well,
Ruth

re-learning to blog and a blog relaunch

It seems I've forgotten how to blog properly, how to put one word behind another and string them along to share what's going on in my world. I've no idea how to start, what to say, how to decide on a topic or an idea or at least some semblance of coherence. I even find myself looking at others' posts, wondering How did this person start this post? and That seems like a normal way of beginning a sentence, yes. 

Ridiculous, I know. And yet I'm trying to send myself some compassion in this, some understanding for this epidemic that is comparing-yourself-to-other-people's-work-to-try-and-feel-better-but-inevitably-feeling-worse.

My solution so far has been to stop blogging. My archives have slowly been dwindling down, to some times when I go days and weeks without posting. (I'm sure you've noticed.) I've chalked it up to my natural flow and rhythm, knowing that posting every day for the sake of getting a post up isn't why I blog.

But I have realized that I'm putting too much pressure on myself about this whole blogging business. I worry about what to say and who will read it and what they'll think and how I'll sound. Sound familiar? It's a very comfortable place for me to hang out in, this self-doubt. I've also realized, with a start, that : I'm not really interested in coming to this virtual space, anymore. Ruth Writes doesn't inspire me, it doesn't light me up, it doesn't make me want to put thoughts into words to share with you all. And if I don't want to come here, why should anyone else?

So that's when I decided it. Ruth Writes was no longer serving me. But I did want to keep blogging. After all, there was a time when I loved blogging. And writing. And sharing photos. This current space just wasn't the place to do that, anymore.

Hence, a blog relaunch! Starting on Monday, Ruth Writes is getting a facelift. Actually, probably more like a total body makeover. With a new name, a new design, a new energy, and a new vision. It's not going in a totally new direction, but rather I'll be more focused on the subjects that really interest me, and use them to drive my posts. I'm envisioning a virtual sanctuary, where I feel comfortable hanging out and sharing my truths and being honest, and I'm hoping you will, too.


Have a lovely weekend xx


PS
Despite my radio silence here, I'm guesting today at Manic Mrs. Stone. Hop over and take a look!

sacred sunday

How Would You Live Then?

What if a hundred rose-breasted grosbeaks
blew in circles around your head?  What if
the mockingbird came into the house with you and
became your advisor?  What if
the bees filled your walls with honey and all
you needed to do was ask them and they would fill
the bowl?  What if the brook slid downhill just
past your bedroom window so you could listen
to its slow prayers as you fell asleep?  What if
the stars began to shout their names, or to run
this way and that way above the clouds?  What if
you painted a picture of a tree, and the leaves
began to rustle, and a bird cheerful sang
from its painted branches?  What if you suddenly saw
that the silver of water was brighter than the silver
of money?  What if you finally saw
that the sunflowers, turning toward the sun all day
and every day -- who knows  how, but they do it -- were
more precious, more meaningful than gold?

--

Mary Oliver