Can you really fake it till you make it?
Positive thinking, affirmations, plain old optimism--does it really work? If your life is in shambles and you find it difficult to see anything in a positive light, can you just trick yourself into thinking so? Can you just repeat some mantra every day for a month and poof! have everything right-side-up again?
I struggle with that on my blog. What do I put on here? I read all kinds of blogs--some that let it all hang out, and some that stick to the happy and positive only. Which is better? I can't say. But I just feel so fake if I only talk about the good parts. If I only put up pictures of myself that I've double-chin and bad-hair approved first. If I only highlight the fun activities of my weekend and not the arguments or mood slumps or moping around the house. But who wants to hear about my weekend mood slumps?
Is it better though, to hear and read about other people who are possibly going through the same things that you are? So that you can feel some belonging to the human race and know you're not alone?
Or is it better to surround yourself with positivity? To read blogs that make you happy and lift your spirits when you're feeling down? In other words, to purposely be fake for the purpose of making yourself happy? (Because let's be honest, we're not all happy, all the time. It's just not possible. Even the happiest and most content of people have their down days. Right?)
So now I'm turning to you, readers.* What do you prefer in a blog? Would you rather see the blogosphere through rose-tinted glasses, or are you a realist that just damn wants it told like it is?
*And for the sake of an "example," I'm going to embrace the realist side of my argument and say: I don't know how confidently I can address "readers"--do I have more than my whopping thirteen followers? Half of which are family members? Sometimes blogging can be so disheartening. There!
Funny you should bring this up. Yesterday's post on my blog was originally a lot longer and a lot more depressing and I found I couldn't bear to post it so I cut it down to one line.
ReplyDeleteI think part of it boils down to who it is you're posting for. I started my blog truly as an online journal with absolutely no expectations that anyone would pay attention to it. And I use those 30 guidelines from Kerouac, including "No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge." So I try to keep it honest, even when it's depressing, without going into gory details. I would love it if life were all sunshine and good stuff and sometimes it is but sometimes it's anything but. So I appreciate reality on blogs, and I appreciate hearing about other people's struggles and bad days so I don't feel so alone in mine. I especially like hearing about how they came through the other side of their trials. I hope that what people take away from my blog is that, even when I'm depressed and going through a tough time, I don't close my eyes to things that inspire me or lose my will to share them with others.
I'm so glad you finally posted about this! You already know my feelings about "fake it till you make it," because it's kind of one of my motto's. That and "nothing good happens after 2 am." But anyways, I think you have a good point about just being honest and realizing that other people are going through the same thing as you, but personally I would rather read a blog that is positive. What does one really get about blogging negatively? I think if you make a concerted effort to be positive, then it will help you think more positively. Although this might not necessarily turn things around for you totally, it will definitely help!
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion.. I think the "fake it til you make it"mantra only has special circumstances where it is to be used. Specifically in the working world. As for life, I can say from personal experience, that Faking the perky happy go lucky life and everything is cheerful etc.. is not neccessarily a good way to be. If you are always trying to fake your way through the world, eventually all the stuff you've ignored and tried to bury is going to burst and instead of having an issue or two to work through and solve, you're gonna have weeks, months, years, worth of issue to work through at once. Now, that's not to say that you should be positive about yourself and your situation. It's all about balance between acknowledging the good, and accepting the bad. I think that maybe an attitude like that could be applied to blogging, like, the good and the crummy, and how you enjoyed the good, and why the crummy was so crummy, and then how you balanced the two, if you could. I always look forward to your felicitous findings and such cheerful blogs, but I have also found blogs that are negative and i have found it consoling to know i'm not alone in this misadventure that is life.
ReplyDeleteGood luck in whatever you find contenting!
Edit: " Now that's not to say that you should NOT be positive about yourself..."
ReplyDeleteSome people refer to "the tapes I play in my head". what you "tell" yourself matters. if you constantly say "I hate doing this" or whatever it is, you will finally believe it. There is a balance...why do you think the story of the little train who said 'I think I can' resonates with everyone?
ReplyDeleteTrying to see what we need to change is what matters. We only have control over ourselves...not anyone else. So we are the ones who have to make changes. That said, this can be hard, but not impossible!!